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Cats' Corners: the little HOUSE in the woods....
Where House is NEVER safe...
Selling It [part one of a two-shot] 
23rd-Sep-2008 11:19 am

Title:  Selling It
Characters:  House, Wilson
Genre:  General, Friendship
Rating:  G
Word Count:  410
TimeLine:  Some time prior to last season's finale



"Don't... what?"

"The answer is yes.  Happy now?"

"Answer to what?"

"It's... three, I think.  Soon to be four."

Wilson shakes his head, frowns in confusion.  "House, I left my decoder ring home this week.  And I don't need an official Ex-Wives Tally today, if that's what this is.  I just got done writing out the monthly checks."

"Idiot.  Even your math can't be that faulty.  You've gotta actually marry Number Four before you can divorce her.  Although I'll admit, it'd be a big savings in legal fees down the road if you'd just write out the checks ahead of time."

"Oh, I get it now.  First thing on your to-do list today:  insult WilsonMission accomplished."

House shakes his head.  "Fun as that'd be, it's not what I'm doing.  I'm giving you the information you've been trying oh so subtly to obtain."

Wilson's face reddens; now he gets it.  "I... was just a little concerned, that's all."

House picks up the prescription bottle and tosses it across his desk to Wilson.  "Count 'em.  It's a lot quicker than x-ray vision.  You'll find eleven remaining.  Ten, if you deduct the one I'm taking soon as you give 'em back.  And no."

Wilson sighs.  "Here we go again; this is fun.  No, what?"

"No, I'm not taking extra pills because I have extra pain.  I'm only doing it to annoy you.  Happy?"

"Why would that make me happy?"

"Because you'll get to write me a new scrip sooner.  Which means you'll get to dust off lecture number three that much sooner.  It's one of my favorites, actually; 'House, there are other methods of pain control, you know!'  So I'm just letting you know I'm not trying to control pain here."

"So... what are you trying to do?"

"Told you.  Number one on my to-do list today is actually annoy WilsonMission accomplished?"

Wilson sighs again.  "Always."

"Good, then.  Wouldn't want to let you down."  House reaches across the desk, grabs the bottle from Wilson's hand.  He pops another pill as he stands and stalks smugly out of the office, leaving Wilson shaking his head in exasperation.

As soon as he's out of sight, House exhales, leans against the wall, closes his eyes.  After a few seconds, he glances back towards his office.  "You weren't supposed to buy that," he whispers.

House waits until he's sure his expression gives away nothing. Then, he pulls in a fortifying breath, brings the pill count up to five, and limps heavily away.

Part Two:  Buying It



(Deleted comment)
23rd-Sep-2008 06:22 pm (UTC)

Good point.
But there's that old saying, "What goes around, comes around. House should be feeling it, after what he dishes out.
*grins wickedly*

Don't get me wrong...I like House as much as anyone, but he's an ass and he gets it all back in the end. no pun intended
Yup things will, indeed, be rough on him.
23rd-Sep-2008 06:45 pm (UTC)
The thing is, the few times House has tried in more straightforward ways to just talk to Wilson? It usually hasn't worked all that well, because Wilson can really be a jerk who simply does not listen. The most notable example was when House came back from the shooting and the ketamine, and the pain was returning and Wilson laughed when House tried to tell him about it.

So there's some kicking of butt that needs to happen on both sides here. I adore Wilson, but he has a dismal track record of refusing to accept the truth when House offers it. It's hard to blame House for hiding out in these games instead.
23rd-Sep-2008 06:55 pm (UTC)
*nods and smiles*
Too, true. At various times they DO both have it coming. It's like watching my parents sometimes.

I think I like House best because he's usually straight forward and Wilson is not. Too many games, though.

I'm glad all that drama is on the tv show and not in my home, because then I'd have to get mean again. LOL!
23rd-Sep-2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
what mare said.