Title: Selling It
Characters: House, Wilson
Genre: General, Friendship
Word Count: 410
TimeLine: Some time prior to last season's finale
"The answer is yes. Happy now?"
"Answer to what?"
"It's... three, I think. Soon to be four."
"Idiot. Even your math can't be that faulty. You've gotta actually marry Number Four before you can divorce her. Although I'll admit, it'd be a big savings in legal fees down the road if you'd just write out the checks ahead of time."
"Oh, I get it now. First thing on your to-do list today: insult
House shakes his head. "Fun as that'd be, it's not what I'm doing. I'm giving you the information you've been trying oh so subtly to obtain."
House picks up the prescription bottle and tosses it across his desk to
"No, I'm not taking extra pills because I have extra pain. I'm only doing it to annoy you. Happy?"
"Why would that make me happy?"
"Because you'll get to write me a new scrip sooner. Which means you'll get to dust off lecture number three that much sooner. It's one of my favorites, actually; 'House, there are other methods of pain control, you know!' So I'm just letting you know I'm not trying to control pain here."
"So... what are you trying to do?"
"Told you. Number one on my to-do list today is actually annoy
"Good, then. Wouldn't want to let you down." House reaches across the desk, grabs the bottle from
As soon as he's out of sight, House exhales, leans against the wall, closes his eyes. After a few seconds, he glances back towards his office. "You weren't supposed to buy that," he whispers.
House waits until he's sure his expression gives away nothing. Then, he pulls in a fortifying breath, brings the pill count up to five, and limps heavily away.
Part Two: Buying It