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Cats' Corners: the little HOUSE in the woods....
Where House is NEVER safe...
Selling It [part one of a two-shot] 
23rd-Sep-2008 11:19 am

Title:  Selling It
Characters:  House, Wilson
Genre:  General, Friendship
Rating:  G
Word Count:  410
TimeLine:  Some time prior to last season's finale



"Don't... what?"

"The answer is yes.  Happy now?"

"Answer to what?"

"It's... three, I think.  Soon to be four."

Wilson shakes his head, frowns in confusion.  "House, I left my decoder ring home this week.  And I don't need an official Ex-Wives Tally today, if that's what this is.  I just got done writing out the monthly checks."

"Idiot.  Even your math can't be that faulty.  You've gotta actually marry Number Four before you can divorce her.  Although I'll admit, it'd be a big savings in legal fees down the road if you'd just write out the checks ahead of time."

"Oh, I get it now.  First thing on your to-do list today:  insult WilsonMission accomplished."

House shakes his head.  "Fun as that'd be, it's not what I'm doing.  I'm giving you the information you've been trying oh so subtly to obtain."

Wilson's face reddens; now he gets it.  "I... was just a little concerned, that's all."

House picks up the prescription bottle and tosses it across his desk to Wilson.  "Count 'em.  It's a lot quicker than x-ray vision.  You'll find eleven remaining.  Ten, if you deduct the one I'm taking soon as you give 'em back.  And no."

Wilson sighs.  "Here we go again; this is fun.  No, what?"

"No, I'm not taking extra pills because I have extra pain.  I'm only doing it to annoy you.  Happy?"

"Why would that make me happy?"

"Because you'll get to write me a new scrip sooner.  Which means you'll get to dust off lecture number three that much sooner.  It's one of my favorites, actually; 'House, there are other methods of pain control, you know!'  So I'm just letting you know I'm not trying to control pain here."

"So... what are you trying to do?"

"Told you.  Number one on my to-do list today is actually annoy WilsonMission accomplished?"

Wilson sighs again.  "Always."

"Good, then.  Wouldn't want to let you down."  House reaches across the desk, grabs the bottle from Wilson's hand.  He pops another pill as he stands and stalks smugly out of the office, leaving Wilson shaking his head in exasperation.

As soon as he's out of sight, House exhales, leans against the wall, closes his eyes.  After a few seconds, he glances back towards his office.  "You weren't supposed to buy that," he whispers.

House waits until he's sure his expression gives away nothing. Then, he pulls in a fortifying breath, brings the pill count up to five, and limps heavily away.

Part Two:  Buying It



23rd-Sep-2008 05:25 pm (UTC)
Oh, House. He wouldn't buy it if only you weren't such a convincing salesman.


Seriously, Kidsnurse. Well done.
23rd-Sep-2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
my thanks, on however many multiple levels i owe them. **hugs**
23rd-Sep-2008 05:46 pm (UTC)
*feels like kicking House*

When someone writes something about House and his ways and can make me feel like kicking him in the butt...they did the job right. =D

I like how you were true to their characters. Good stuff.

Re: wut Mare said
House is a convincing salesman cuz Wilson has continually bought it.
23rd-Sep-2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
thanks for letting me know you enjoyed this. but poor house; he's in too much pain right now to withstand any kicking, you know! :)
(Deleted comment)
23rd-Sep-2008 06:22 pm (UTC)

Good point.
But there's that old saying, "What goes around, comes around. House should be feeling it, after what he dishes out.
*grins wickedly*

Don't get me wrong...I like House as much as anyone, but he's an ass and he gets it all back in the end. no pun intended
Yup things will, indeed, be rough on him.
23rd-Sep-2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
This packs a huge emotional punch in such a short story. Love.
23rd-Sep-2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
:-) thank you, my dear.
23rd-Sep-2008 08:40 pm (UTC)
What a way to come back--with this short powerful piece. House really is the master manipulator. It's so sad to see that even though he really didn't want to win *this* game, it didn't stop him from trying his hardest.
23rd-Sep-2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
That's one thing about House, he can be full-tilt that way.
23rd-Sep-2008 08:48 pm (UTC)
Glad I followed the rec from HHOW. Mare's right -- there's a lot here for the wordcount.

23rd-Sep-2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
Heh! She's often right about a lot of things. It's sickening. =D
23rd-Sep-2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
oh this is heartbreaking :( poor house... so utterly believable, though, in all aspects... the dialogue between them was flawless, as was house's secretly hoping that wilson would catch on... :(

so very sad that wilson didn't notice... too wrapped up in amber, most likely :(

great work, hon, love this :)
24th-Sep-2008 01:31 am (UTC)
Yeah! You are back.:)

It is beautiful the way you catch House's pain.

It really is sad that Wilson has lost so much touch with House that he can no longer see through his games. I can only hope that when they repair their relationship that we will see more of the old Wilson again. He is sorely missed.

Edited at 2008-09-24 01:32 am (UTC)
24th-Sep-2008 01:44 am (UTC)

Mayhap Wilson is hurting too much to engage in the exercise with House, and just doesn't care, for the time being??
24th-Sep-2008 04:54 am (UTC)
:does a happy dance, backflips, then hug!tackles you:

You're BAAAACK! And what a way to make a return - a short fic with a sad little yank to go with it. Lovely. :-)

14th-Oct-2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
the sad little yank was what i crafted the rest of it around; i just had to find a way to use that line. and thanks.
(Deleted comment)
14th-Oct-2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
thank you so much; what a lovely thing to say!
24th-Sep-2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
Yay!! Can't believe you're back!! :)

Amazing job; as always... You've got such a wonderful hand for writing these two. Very, very IC; very painful to read... But I just loved it! Thank you!
14th-Oct-2008 08:53 pm (UTC)
sorry [glad?] about the 'painful'--maybe i haven't lost my touch.
25th-Sep-2008 02:40 am (UTC)
Poor House. He just wants it all to go back to the way it was, and it's heartbreaking...even though he makes me want to kick his ass most the time in canon. He's so obviously needy and clueless about how to get those needs met, it's hard not to feel for him, especially the way you write him. You wrote a first rate House AND Wilson.

PS: He doesn't have to pay Bonnie alimony any more, according to the episode with Hector. I didn't think he had to pay it to Julie because she's the one who strayed. Is canon even straight on this? GAH. It's all good anyway.
14th-Oct-2008 08:54 pm (UTC)
i am a bit protective about him, aren't i? but i do realize he's an ass. anyway, glad you enjoyed it; thanks for letting me know.
25th-Sep-2008 03:56 am (UTC)
It's great to read your fics again even if I can't do it from tomorrow untill Saturday next week (04.10.). It's a shame because I do love your fic's but I'll read them when I'm back. Thanks a lot for sharing this one.
14th-Oct-2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
you're welcome; thanks for your faith and encouragement.
26th-Sep-2008 07:02 am (UTC)
YOU'RE ALIVE? *screams* And...and...this doesn't look canon! Even better! I'd wondered how you'd taken the finale and the aftermath. Wilson's head on a stick would be a great gift for me at the moment. But -- hell, you're alive -- I'll take that instead any day! *resists urge to scream because it's way too late*
14th-Oct-2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
i am alive, yes, and trying to write. don't scream; it'll hurt your head.
26th-Sep-2008 01:47 pm (UTC) - Welcome back!
So glad to see your name come up....your writing is wonderful, amazing as always.
14th-Oct-2008 08:56 pm (UTC) - Re: Welcome back!
thank you kindly. :-)