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Cats' Corners: the little HOUSE in the woods....
Where House is NEVER safe...
Just figured it out [House and Wilson] 
30th-Nov-2007 10:52 pm
longtripalone
I was just sitting on the front porch, having a cigarette and being contemplative.  Thinking, actually, about the longer fic on which I'm currently working, and about all the discussions lately concerning the changing House-Wilson dynamic.  And something hit me--hard.

I figured out, in an instant, why I'm so defensive of, and protective towards, House.  It's so simple, so obvious, I can't believe I never saw it before.  I've always said that there's no such thing as a real-life Wilson.  There couldn't  be; chronic pain wears people out.  Not just the sufferer, but those who care about the sufferer.  And while the sufferer can't leave, the carer can--and eventually has to.

Everyone starts out, of course, with the best of intentions.  The sufferer [having been through this before] pushes the would-be carer away, for the carer's own protection.  The carer pushes back; he or she is convinced s/he's different, and can take it all--the pain, the depression, the resentment, the health crises--all of it.  And if the carer is truly determined, it works.  For a while.

Sufferers of chronic pain wear you out.  It isn't intentional, but it is inevitable.  They really want to believe, each and every time, that this person who cares will stick around.  In the back of their minds, they know what the outcome will be, has to be--but hope is a strong thing.  So they think, okay, let's try this just one more time.  And, just about the time they begin to believe that they've found a saint--a Wilson, if you will--too many bad days in a row happen.  Or a medical crisis.  Or the ninety-third argument about too much or too little pain medication.  Or something.   And the carer, a human being with a healthy instinct for self-preservation, begins to pull away.  This distancing may not even be conscious--but the sufferer quickly picks up on it.

And then, despite the sufferer's best intent, s/he becomes clingy, dependent--frightened of being deserted again.  And eventually, it all falls apart.  Because the carer's instinct for survival takes over, and the carer moves on while the sufferer vows [yet again] to keep those walls firmly in place next time.  And that is why there is no such thing as a Real Life Wilson. 

And this fits, exactly, what I see happening with House and Wilson--why I've been so vocally dissatisfied with seasons three and four.  Because Wilson's wearing out, becoming tired and resentful of being House's Wilson.  And that is why season one Wilson doesn't exist anymore, and season four House has become so desperate for Wilson's approval.

For many in the fandom, the name Wilson has become synonymous with compassion, caring, empathy, an endless store of patience; "Wilson" isn't simply a person anymore, it's a way of being.  And no; there is no such thing as a Real Life Wilson.  But--in their fictional world-- it seems that there may soon be no such thing as a Real Life Wilson for House, either.

12.02.07  12:55pm  ETA:  You kids may have noticed my uncharacteristic lack of written response to your comments here.  There's a reason, and it's personal--painfully personal.  I shared private thoughts and feelings with this wee essay--and honestly wasn't expecting comments on it!  The perception of some of your comments takes my breath away; others, it's clear, have never been on either side of this situation but are trying their utmost to understand.  So I appreciate all your replies, but feel a need to simply let these thoughts stand as they are, and speak for themselves.  Thanks for understanding!
ONE MORE THING:    Just so there's no misunderstanding here; I was not ever among those who theorized that Robert Sean Leonard could or would leave the show.  I don't think for an instant that he will--but the actor leaving the show has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm talking about.  The two issues have nothing whatsoever to do with one another.  My point is... oh, never mind.  Never should have posted this piece; sorry for any confusion.
Thoughts 
1st-Dec-2007 05:07 am (UTC)
Gotta agree with that. Having sort of been in the carer role, I can attest to how it can wear someone down. But thankfully (or unfortunately) Wilson is a fictional character. I think Wilson is taking steps to stabilize himself because he is aware of what is happening-- and he is aware of how him going down is going to take House with him. Wilson seems to be reaching out for help- and since he really doesn't have an outside support system he's gone to a professional source for that help. Wilson would have considered his state and realized that him being messed up was going to reflect on House. Since House is outside that support loop he doesn't know exactly what Wilson is doing he's going to be uncertain of where these changes are leading and will probably be either clingy or-- seeing that Wilson seems happier and stabler-- House might try and push Wilson away to protect him.

You did go into Wilson seeking help in "The Devil's in the Details." I kind of see Wilson's action now kind of being like in that story. He's tired, yes, but he is trying to get that under control and I'm hoping eventually he finds the balance he needs so that he can continue to be there for House (cause I really don't see fictional Wilson being able to give up on House-- considering everything he's already gone through.)

*hugs*