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Cats' Corners: the little HOUSE in the woods....
Where House is NEVER safe...
What Wilson Knows [companion to What House Knows] 
16th-Oct-2007 05:52 pm

See that new user icon?  It's from a sketch by the multi-talented [info]blackmare_9 , and it inspired this one-shot. [info]blackmare_9   has somehow captured Wilson's pervasive sadness, his elusive vulnerability, and I began to wonder why I almost always detect something poignant whenever we see Wilson studying House.  And  this piece is Wilson's answer.  [dedicated, for obvious reasons, to the incredible  [info]blackmare_9 ]

Mare's WilsonClick to enlarge [info]blackmare_9's wonderful sketch! 

Title:  What Wilson Knows
Rating:  PG
Genre:  Angst
Characters:  Wilson, House, Cuddy 

Wilson sighs, stops writing, lifts his head, and gazes across the lobby towards the raised voice.  House is exiting the elevator, engaged in an animated conversation with the radiologist.  It's more of a monologue, really; Dr. Hendrickson is simply House's unwilling audience.  Wilson watches, amused, as the man bobs his head at House and tries to step away.  Wilson's unable to bite back a smile when he sees the tip of House's cane come down firmly on Hendrickson's left shoe and stay there, essentially pinning him in place while House continues to harangue him.

Cuddy walks to the door of her office and watches Wilson, watching House.  There's something she's always wondered about, and she sees it now--despite the indulgent, affectionate smile on Wilson's face as he observes his friend's antics, there's a sadness in his eyes.  He masks it well; it's doubtful that anyone other than Cuddy even notices.  But Cuddy sees it every time Wilson looks at House.  When she first noticed it, all she saw was the sadness--but every once in a while, she can see guilt and grief hiding there too. Yet the why of it all continues to elude her.

Wilson actually laughs out loud when House says something that causes Hendrickson to hold up his hands in a clear plea for mercy.  Wilson's laughing--but that look is still there, and finally his sorrow threatens to overcome her too, and so Cuddy turns away, deeply and inexplicably affected by his private hurt.

As House continues to expound on whatever it is that's upsetting him, Wilson goes back to filling out the prescription in front of him.  He looks again at the latest liver enzymes--they've made it safely through another month.  When House, moments later, stalks by him, Wilson doesn't even look up from the labs; he simply holds out the prescription.

House snags the piece of paper and glances at it.  "For me?  You shouldn't have!"  And then he's gone.

"No," Wilson agrees quietly, looking after him.  "I shouldn't have."  And if Cuddy had still been observing Wilson, she'd have seen that mysterious, guilt-tinged sadness return full force.  Because Wilson knows.

Wilson knows something that no one else seems to have yet figured out--not even House.  Only Wilson knows, and he's still surprised that he continues to carry the secret alone.  It's not going to be an angry patient.  It's not going to be a blood clot, or an electrocution, or even an overdose.  No.  Wilson knows what's going to kill House.  So he carries the sadness, and the guilt, and the grief, because the weapon that will yield the mortal blow will be Vicodin. 

And Wilson will wield that weapon....

Here we have the situation from House's point of view: 
What House Knows


17th-Oct-2007 01:38 am (UTC)
This is ... entirely too painful. Oh, Wilson.

I can't -- I mean -- oh.


17th-Oct-2007 10:04 am (UTC)
entirely too painful

pounting out--one more time--that you've no one but yourself to blame! and thanking you, one more time. just went public with this--must. make. COFFEE. ;-)
(Deleted comment)
17th-Oct-2007 10:09 am (UTC)
House made the choice

except... he didn't. it's no more a choice for house than insulin is a choice for a diabetic. and you're correct--there is no good answer. hobson's choice, indeed.
17th-Oct-2007 11:23 am (UTC)
Why did I decide to open this while at work? It made me cry. So sad, so painful, so beautiful, so true - and no way out, for Wilson or House. House needs Vicodin, Wilson knows he needs it - so sad. Thanks for writing and sharing.
17th-Oct-2007 11:28 am (UTC)
oh, please feel absolutely free to blame all the sadness and the pain on blackmare, artist of the lovely sketch that grabbed me and forced me to write this--i know i'm blaming her! ;-)
(Deleted comment)
17th-Oct-2007 12:35 pm (UTC)
poor wilson. while i believe that house knows that his pain meds will contribute mightily to his eventual death, i honestly think it hasn't yet occurred to him that his best friend feels like a murderer. but that's a subject for another story!
17th-Oct-2007 12:23 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is so lovely! Wilson's blend of sorrow and affection on observing House underscores why he so enjoys House's company. He knows that someday it won't be there, and that seems to make those moments of House being House all the more precious.
17th-Oct-2007 12:41 pm (UTC)
thank you so much; i'm honored that you've taken the time to comment on my work. and isn't blackmare's sketch amazing? as soon as i saw her interpretation of wilson's eyes, this vignette just began to write itself--wilson just had to share his burden. i was much inspired by what mare captured.
17th-Oct-2007 01:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, goody. I always like to go through 4 or 5 tissues before leaving for work.

This was beautiful and very, very sad.
17th-Oct-2007 01:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, goody. I always like to go through 4 or 5 tissues before leaving for work.

is it wrong that this part of your comment made me giggle--with satisfaction?

and thank you.
17th-Oct-2007 01:17 pm (UTC)
Very very poignant. And too true.
17th-Oct-2007 01:33 pm (UTC)
wilson's eyes in blackmare's sketch [which i only obviously love just a wee little bit] simply cried out for explanation. so i asked wilson, and this is what he reluctantly told me. the story makes me sad, too, but i am celebrating the apparent return of my long-absent writing voices! ;)
17th-Oct-2007 01:32 pm (UTC)
Arrgh great! But sad! But great! and sad! And I got the same problem as hibernia1. I´m at work and it made me almost crying. But otherwise. It´s good that I read it at work. Maybe at home I would really cry. Thanks a lot for this emphatetically written fic.
17th-Oct-2007 01:35 pm (UTC)
*passes tissues*

it is just mildly depressing, isn't it? and you're welcome!
17th-Oct-2007 02:18 pm (UTC)
I never really thought about how Wilson felt prescribing House's drugs like that. But it makes perfect sense.

I just want to go wrap my arms around Wilson and give him a big ol' hug


17th-Oct-2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
I just want to go wrap my arms around Wilson and give him a big ol' hug

wilson does seem to engender that reaction in us, doesn't he? ;)
17th-Oct-2007 02:38 pm (UTC)
So beautiful. I always wondered about the sadness in Wilson's eyes and I think this is the most heartbreaking explanation I've ever read.
17th-Oct-2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
the most heartbreaking explanation

it is, isn't it? i wrote this last night, should be over it, but i've got to admit, it's leaving me with a residual sadness, even today....
17th-Oct-2007 03:16 pm (UTC)
So true.
Sad but also really happy to read something from you. And what a "something" !
Don't know if your muse was MIA for a while (you said that, right ?) but for me, she's right there now, hitting your keyboard and in really good shape !
17th-Oct-2007 03:32 pm (UTC)
did you miss this one, put up saturday? and you're very welcome!!
17th-Oct-2007 03:33 pm (UTC)
heartbreaking. And, unfortunately, so true.
thanks for sharing.
17th-Oct-2007 03:44 pm (UTC)
you're quite welcome; the sharing is the best part for me! :)
17th-Oct-2007 04:06 pm (UTC)
So sad, but so spot on. And Wilson can't stop wielding that weapon since the alternative is seeing House in pain or letting someone who doesn't have a chance to control House prescribe the Vicodin (which might just speed things up-- or leave House looking for another source.) I'm guessing House probably does know but doesn't want to add to Wilson's pain by acknowledging it. Or just refuses to look too close at what he knows he's doing to Wilson because of the emotions that he would have to deal with if he did.

Very thought provoking piece (and picture-- great sketch blackmare!) Thanks for sharing!
17th-Oct-2007 04:23 pm (UTC)
Or just refuses to look too close at what he knows he's doing to Wilson because of the emotions that he would have to deal with if he did.

agreed. poor house. poor wilson....

great sketch blackmare!

again, absolute agreement!!! :)
17th-Oct-2007 04:16 pm (UTC)
*hugs Wilson* *hugs kidsnurse* Another wonderful, yet extremely sad and wrenching look at House, Wilson and their friendship. Missed your writings over the summer. Glad to see you back :)
17th-Oct-2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
thanks so much; ecstatically happy to be back, and to be able to provide reading material once again! ;)
17th-Oct-2007 08:10 pm (UTC)
=( Poor Wilson.

Wilson... is such a sad character. He's happy sometimes, or mad, but there's always a tone of sadness in him. This fic captures that perfectly.

17th-Oct-2007 08:27 pm (UTC)
always a tone of sadness in him
and in house as well; i think that's a large part of what makes both of them so endlessly intriguing. so glad you enjoyed this!
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