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Cats' Corners: the little HOUSE in the woods....
Where House is NEVER safe...
Administrative Hour (eighteenth in the HOUR series) 
13th-Jul-2007 07:07 am
Trio
Title: Administrative Hour
Characters: House, Wilson, Cuddy
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1150 
Summary: House has a plan.  Wilson has anxiety.  Cuddy has a solution. 

The previous vignettes, in order, are:
Visiting Hour,  Happy Hour,  Midnight Hour Fifty-Minute Hour Random Hour,  Painful Hour,  Dark Hour ,  Desperate Hour,  Witching Hour ,  Lonely HourDinner Hour Legal Hour  Honorable Hour,  House's Hour ,  Wilson's Hour ,  Uncomfortable Hour , and  Lunch Hour .


ADMINISTRATIVE HOUR

 

 

Once Cameron and Chase have left, Wilson returns to his untouched lunch; House has already finished eating.

 

“You’re getting right back into the swing of things,” House observes cheerfully as he swipes a pickle from

Wilson’s plate.

 

“I just answered a few questions; that’s hardly—hey, wait a minute!  You don’t even like pickles!”

 

“Well, yeah, but you forgot to order fries, and I need to polish my food-borrowing skills.  Hate to admit it, but they’ve gotten a little rusty lately.”

 

Wilson shakes his head.  “How could I have been so thoughtless?  I’ll go get you an order of fries right now, how’s that?”

 

“Nah; no fun unless they belong to you.  Anyway, we need to see Cuddy before she leaves for the day.”

 

Wilson looks like a kid unexpectedly summoned to the principal’s office, just when he’d thought the school day was ending.  “Why?”

 

House determinedly ignores the way Wilson’s suddenly gone pale and uncertain.  “Because it’s rude to leave a party without at least thanking the hostess,” he says airily.

 

Wilson’s still shaking his head, and House sees the beginnings of real panic in his eyes.  House remembers a trick his mother used to pull on him when he was small, and being stubborn about going somewhere;

Wilson’s insecure enough right now that it might just work.

 

“That’s fine; you can stay here, then.  Finish your lunch.  Start your lunch!”  House has noticed that all Wilson’s done is push the food around on the plate.  “Or get a cup of coffee or something.  I’ll be back.”  He stands and begins to walk quickly away from the table.

 

“No, wait!” Wilson calls.  “I’m coming.”

 

House bites back a smile and waits for Wilson to catch up.

 

When they arrive at Cuddy’s office, House doesn’t knock—he bangs open the doors and shouts, “Hi honey, we’re home!”

 

Cuddy forces herself not to jump, and aims a manufactured smile in House’s direction.  The smile she turns on Wilson, however, is warm and welcoming.  She moves from behind her desk with her arms open, and envelops him in a hug.  After only a second, he hugs her back.

 

House waits impatiently; touching scenes aren’t his thing, and there’s work to be done.  As the two old friends finally break apart, he raps his cane against the desk to get their attention.  “You,” he announces to Cuddy, “have a problem.  A big problem.”

 

Cuddy shakes her head regretfully.  “I’m well aware of that, House, but once I realized that you have tenure, I figured there are simply some things I’ve gotta learn to live with.”

 

House makes a face.  “Cute.  Now listen.  I’ve decided how we’re gonna get Wilson back where he belongs.”

 

Cuddy starts to say something; House silences her with a look.  He imperiously points to the couch with his cane, and waits until his audience has seated themselves.  Then, he begins to pace.

 

“Here’s the way I see it.  The three of us have already brought down one Evil Empire, with nothing but our light sabers and our wicked tongues, and—”

 

Cuddy leans over and whispers loudly to Wilson, “What the hell is he talking about?”

 

Wilson smiles and whispers back, “Vogler, et. al.  It’s his favorite war story when we’ve been drinking.  You’re always Princess Leia.”

 

“He’s been drinking?”

 

‘He’ has not,” House intones dramatically.  “He has figured out a way to get you out of this mess!”  House stops speaking and glares at Cuddy when she groans.  “What!” he demands.

 

Cuddy smiles sweetly at him.  “It may have… escaped your attention, but most of your attempts to bravely right the wrongs of the world wind up costing me money.  Lots of money.  And anyway—”

 

“Silence!” House roars.  He sneaks a look at Wilson, who no longer looks pale and uncertain—he’s snickering indulgently behind his hand.

 

House continues.  “So here’s the cunning plan.  I will sneak into the Throne Room, and lay waste to the gilt-edged Secret Documents, thus rendering them unusable.  Boy Wonder and Super Girl—”

 

“I thought I was Princess Leia!” Cuddy objects to Wilson.

 

“Different empire,” he informs her matter-of-factly, while House glowers at both of them.

 

If I may continue.”  House waits until they both nod obediently.  “Boy Wonder and Super Girl are charged with invading the Kingdom of Neoplasia.  You must steal the Secret Life-Giving Formulas and replace them all with useless water.  Then you must warn the denizens of Neoplasia that the Horrible Hemlock is endangering their lives.  They will rise up as one, and ride him out of town on a rail.  Problem solved!”

 

“Isn’t he mixing his metaphors?  Now we’ve somehow got trains in this scenario.”  Cuddy’s shaking her head in confusion.

 

“Mixed metaphors appear to be the least of his problems.  Any beds available in Psych?” Wilson replies.

 

“Yeah,” Cuddy says, “but none in the lockdown unit.  I’m afraid we’re stuck with him.”

 

“You two have no imagination,” House grumbles.

 

“No, but I do have a plan based in… uh… reality,” Cuddy smiles.

 

“How prosaic,” House sulks, collapsing into a chair.

 

“As you know,” Cuddy begins, “Dr. Henley’s position hasn’t been made permanent.  And… it’s not going to be.  I’ve already spoken with all the board members.  Seems he’s rubbed most of them the wrong way.  Imagine that!”  Cuddy smiles dryly.  “He has a six month contract, which gives us about seven weeks to come up with a replacement.  I’ve been informed that Dr. Wilson should have his license back, officially, in about six weeks.  Funny how these things work out.”

 

House is still sulking.  “You let me go through all that, and you knew all along….”

 

Cuddy doesn’t bother to point out that House wouldn’t let her speak.  “It’s okay, House,” she soothes.  “That was perhaps the most entertaining psychotic break I’ve ever been privileged to witness.”

 

Wilson nods his assent, and House grins in satisfaction.

 

“One more thing,” Cuddy says to Wilson.  “The board called an emergency meeting today and voted to restore your salary, retroactive to when you were wrongfully imprisoned.”

 

“That’s very kind of them, Cuddy,” Wilson says.  “But I won’t be able to do anything to earn it anytime soon.”

 

“Oh yeah, you will,” Cuddy says.  “When you’re ready to come back, you can do some consulting for your department, fill in as guest lecturer—we’ll keep you busy,” she assures him.

 

“Did you hear that, House?” Wilson asks.  But apparently, House is engrossed in methodically taking apart an intricate molecular representation he’s found on a side table.

 

Cuddy and Wilson both stare at House while Cuddy continues, “And of course… you… do realize… that you, uh… get House back.”

 

Wilson and Cuddy continue to watch House, in silence, for a moment more.  As the expensive little model explodes to the floor in pieces,

Wilson takes a deep breath and turns to his boss.

 

“I’m gonna need a raise,” he sighs.

Next:

Evening Hour


 

 

Thoughts 
13th-Jul-2007 12:20 pm (UTC)
When is Cuddy going to learn, you can't leave the toys out around the children. tsk

Hee to House coming up with his cunning plan and Cuddy totally haveing it all covered. The psychotic break line was awesome
13th-Jul-2007 01:39 pm (UTC)
When is Cuddy going to learn, you can't leave the toys out around the children

yeah, but if there isn't something available for house to fidget with, the implications could be staggering! ;)
13th-Jul-2007 01:03 pm (UTC)
Wonderful dialog. Princess Leia really handles House very well.

I love how House is handling Wilson. It's so unusual for him to worry about how someone else feels and yet he's gently shoving Wilson forward while acting like himself so Wilson doesn't feel manipulated. Very nice.
13th-Jul-2007 01:44 pm (UTC)
he's gently shoving Wilson forward while acting like himself

i honestly believe that when House decides that he needs to do what's best for wilson, house will always come through with flying colors! (and the rest of the time, he wants us (and wilson) to grossly underestimate the depth of his concern for his friend.
13th-Jul-2007 02:06 pm (UTC)
This just cracks me right up every time I read it. I really like the little additions about Wilson not actually eating his lunch, too.

And House's plan -- holy cow. Was there actually something coherent under all that babbling? It's hilarious. "I thought I was Princess Leia!"

Once again, I adore your Cuddy. You get her wit just right. " ... but once I realized that you have tenure ..." may be my favorite line in this whole ... well, no. Can't pick a favorite.

Oh, and I totally love it that House actually admits that he only wants fries if they're Wilson's and he can steal them. Because, as we all ought to know by now, House's thieving ways are much less about the food than they are about getting away with it because his friend will let him.
13th-Jul-2007 02:12 pm (UTC)
really like the little additions about Wilson not actually eating his lunch, too.

i had to add that, as if i hadn't, then that whole food thingy in the next vignette wouldn't have... well, you know! ;)
13th-Jul-2007 02:50 pm (UTC)
Cuddy and Wilson both stare at House while Cuddy continues, “And of course… you… do realize… that you, uh… get House back.”

Yes :) Just what Wilson wanted and needed all along. I almost cried at that, and that is just something I don't do nor admit to.
13th-Jul-2007 03:06 pm (UTC)
Just what Wilson wanted and needed all along

exactly--the best perk of getting the job back!
13th-Jul-2007 03:26 pm (UTC)
I wish you wrote for the show. This -
“I thought I was Princess Leia!” Cuddy objects to Wilson.
“Different empire,” he informs her matter-of-factly, while House glowers at both of them.
is as good or better than any quip this season.
13th-Jul-2007 03:31 pm (UTC)
I wish you wrote for the show

but if i wrote for the show, we would've all been deprived of that wonderful, engrossing, well-researched, factually-written Tritter arc! :) think how empty our lives would be!! [rofl]
13th-Jul-2007 04:10 pm (UTC)
House continues. “So here’s the cunning plan. I will sneak into the Throne Room, and lay waste to the gilt-edged Secret Documents, thus rendering them unusable. Boy Wonder and Super Girl—”
“I thought I was Princess Leia!” Cuddy objects to Wilson.
“Different empire,” he informs her matter-of-factly, while House glowers at both of them.


Made of Win. I really really want to hear this on the show. Or at least have House do a long comic-book related metaphor and have Wilson be the only one who understands it, because he's just that cool.

As always, ♥ the story.
13th-Jul-2007 06:40 pm (UTC)
I really really want to hear this on the show

i know what you mean; this was one of those scenes i could see while i was writing it!
13th-Jul-2007 04:10 pm (UTC)
I think I'm going to have this big goofy smile on my face all day. This was the perfect scenario. It left me all warm and fuzzy inside. Go Cuddy! Whoot! Ahem.
13th-Jul-2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
I think I'm going to have this big goofy smile on my face all day

happy to make you smile! :)
13th-Jul-2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
YAY for Cuddy. House's plan was fabulous!! Great part. :D
13th-Jul-2007 06:42 pm (UTC)
House's plan was fabulous!!

but lucky for all of them that cuddy had a... umm... back-up plan! ;)
13th-Jul-2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
Hee! I absolutely loved the "big problem" line -- I wasn't expecting Cuddy's response and it actually made me laugh out loud.

And House's mile-a-minute dissertation, packed chock-full of wildly misplaced movie plots and mixed metaphors! Ha!

*grins* Very, very nice, kidsnurse!
13th-Jul-2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
I wasn't expecting Cuddy's response and it actually made me laugh out loud

that was one of those lovely (rare) moments where i didn't have to think it; she said it whilst i was typing! :)
13th-Jul-2007 06:31 pm (UTC)
I keep hoping against hope that all this love will culminate in smooches, but alas. XD
13th-Jul-2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
all this love will culminate in smooches

which would you prefer--wilson and cuddy? or house and cuddy? hee. ;)
13th-Jul-2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
These hours are awesome so much love. Blackmare you rock. How many hours do I have to look forward to?
13th-Jul-2007 08:58 pm (UTC)
Blackmare you rock. How many hours do I have to look forward to?

yes, she does. and two more. :)
13th-Jul-2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
That indeed was the most entertaining psychotic break! I loved this one, the world is right again :)
13th-Jul-2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
the world is right again :)

until monday, at least! ;)
14th-Jul-2007 03:26 am (UTC)
Oh my. I was seriously giggling/laughing for about ten minutes after I read that psychotic break. Freaking hilarious. I could so see House getting drunk with Wilson, and him just going off about how he's Han Solo, Wilson's Luke, and how Wilson is disgusting because he kissed his own sister. Or something like that.

Most entertaining thing I've read in quite a while. Haha! Keep up the good work!
14th-Jul-2007 10:52 am (UTC)
glad it made you giggle! sometimes it's fun to leave the angst behind for a little while, isn't it?
14th-Jul-2007 05:25 pm (UTC)
There is absolutely nothing left to say. This was just brilliant. I swear I (like every other person who read it) could actually see this really happening. House was exactly what Wilson needed for ages. Glad he's back for good.

-ANimal
14th-Jul-2007 05:52 pm (UTC)
Glad he's back for good.

told ya i'd fix what i broke--see, just keep the faith!! :)
14th-Jul-2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
May I hug you ?
;-)
Thanks for having "fixed what you broke". And brilliantly, as usual. Eager to read the 2 coming Hours left.
14th-Jul-2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
Eager to read the 2 coming Hours left.

they'll be posted monday and tuesday. tomorrow, i'll be posting a new sick!wilson oneshot, though. hope you like!
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