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Cats' Corners: the little HOUSE in the woods....
Where House is NEVER safe...
Lonely Hour (tenth in the HOUR series) 
3rd-Jul-2007 11:44 am
WilSad

Title: Lonely Hour
Characters: House, Wilson
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 950
Summary:  Wilson reflects on his friendship with House, and writes a letter.  The previous vignettes, in order, are:
Visiting HourHappy HourMidnight Hour,   Fifty-Minute Hour,  Random HourPainful HourDark Hour ,   Desperate Hour, and  Witching Hour .

LONELY HOUR

 

Wilson sits at the small desk in his cell, composing a letter.  If he’d actually intended to send the letter, he could go to the prison library and use the computer.

 

But this letter, like all the others, isn’t going anywhere.  It’s just a… coping mechanism, recommended by Dr. Ambegley.  Wilson finds it helpful, finds that he even looks forward to this hour when he can get lost inside his own thoughts.

 

He hasn’t seen House for several weeks—not since House had shown up the day Wilson had been stabbed.  The nurse in the infirmary had told him the next day about House’s call during the night, but since then, Wilson has heard nothing from House.

 

Wilson knows about that first call—and he also knows that House phones the infirmary every day around 4:00pm, to check on the infection that Wilson’s developed at the site of the shank wound.

 

Wilson had been putting in a couple of extra hours in the clinic one afternoon when House had called—and Wilson had answered.  There’d been a long pause after Wilson had identified himself, and then a male voice, with a bad Indian accent, had asked to speak with Debbie, the nurse on duty.

 

Wilson had smiled; he recognized that accent.  It’s the same one House had used when he’d crashed ‘Von Lieberman’s’ lecture.  So he’d put Debbie on the phone, and left the room, still smiling.

 

Debbie had confessed, later, that House called daily for an update, but had asked them not to tell Wilson.  He’d said that he didn’t want Wilson to think that House doubted the quality of the care he was receiving.  And he could couch his questions about Wilson’s mood, how he was eating, and sleeping, in all the medical terms he wanted—Debbie wasn’t fooled.  And neither was Wilson, who slept better that night than he had in weeks.

 

Sometimes it bothers Wilson that House is trying so hard to hide his concern.  Sometimes, he wishes that House would call him.  Or visit.  Sometimes… it hurts.

 

But it’s okay, really, that House stays so distant.  It means that House will never learn about Wilson’s suicide attempt last week.  Well… he will—but he won’t.

 

Dear House~

 

Been a while since you’ve visited; you haven’t missed a whole lot here.  Except for Tuesday.  I did something selfish, and I think it might surprise you.

 

You’re always accusing me of wanting to be a martyr, putting you and everyone else before myself.  Tuesday night, though, I put myself first—in a big way.  I decided I didn’t want to deal with any of this anymore.  So I tried to kill myself.  Pretty dramatic, huh?

 

After I’d taken the pills, though, I remembered what I’d known all along.  And—since you’ll never see this letter—I’m going to be honest here.  I couldn’t go through with it, because I couldn’t leave you.  You’re a jerk, House—but you’re my best friend.  And I worry about you.  So, I figured, if I weren’t around to keep you in line, you’d do something really stupid, and it would be my fault.  I couldn’t live with that, even if I were dead.  Yeah—stupid joke; I know.  So anyway, you saved my life last Tuesday.

 

That’s pretty much the only thing that’s happened since I saw you last.  I’m not going to tell you that I miss you—not even in a letter you’ll never see—because I really don’t miss you.  Don’t get annoyed by that; I don’t ever miss you because you’re always here, that’s all.  Any time I need to, I just close my eyes.  Then, I can hear you insulting me, see you stealing my food, interrupting a patient’s appointment.  Guess that last thing won’t ever happen again, but I do look forward to the day when you again call me a moron as you steal the last french fry off my plate.

 

~Wilson

 

Wilson puts down the pen and sighs as his faint smile fades away.  This is always the bad part about ending these letters; he has to remember all over again that House is out there, alone, without him.  And he has to acknowledge that—as different as he and House are, have always been—House is the only one who’s ever understood him.  And what he didn’t understand, he just accepted.

 

As Wilson crumples up yet another letter to House, he wonders if House has any idea what a good friend he’s been to Wilson.  And he wishes House didn’t feel so guilty about this whole situation.  Maybe, if the guilt weren’t so strong, House would visit more often.  And then Wilson wouldn’t worry about him so much.

 

Wilson lowers his head into his hands and tries to forget, just like last Tuesday, that the reason he’s been given this quiet time to himself is because the other inmates are with the people who care about them.  Wilson hates visiting hour.

 

But he understands why House isn’t here.  That day another prisoner had injured Wilson, House had come quickly.  He’d seen for himself that Wilson was okay.  And then he’d left, just as quickly.

 

He wasn’t angry; he was scared.  For me.  Figured if the thing with Tritter hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have been here to be hurt.  In House’s mind, his weird logic—makes all of it his fault.

 

And if he doesn’t visit, he isn’t reminded of what he thinks he’s done to me, to my life.  If he acknowledged it, he’d break.  Wouldn’t do a bit of good to tell him he didn’t do anything wrong—it’d just make him angry.

 

“Damn it, House,” Wilson whispers into the quiet cell.  “I’m only here because someone had to pay.  And what I said to Tritter was true; better me than you.”

 

Wilson has an idea, and he picks up his pen.  This letter, he’ll send.  Maybe it’ll help.


And on to  
Dinner Hour

~~~~~UPDATE!!!

You kids are not gonna believe this!  The phenomenal 
[info]
nightdog_barks has written an exquisite vignette of her own, a companion piece to the Hour series.  I'm so flattered, and so impressed.  AND she has graciously given me permission to link to it, so that you may enjoy it as well, and get a fuller picture of Wilson's current situation.  Therefore, without further ado, I present to you  The Visitor. 

 

Thoughts 
3rd-Jul-2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
... wait, what?

Who's Wilson sending this letter to? How's it going to help? Argh! This'll teach me not to joke about my own cliffhangers ... grrrr.

So horribly sad that Wilson hates visiting hour. I'm assuming his family has cut him loose -- and even if they did come to see him, they're not the ones he really wants.

Can't wait for the next installment!
3rd-Jul-2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
*grins*

Isn't she eeeevil? And don't you just love it?

3rd-Jul-2007 04:58 pm (UTC)
Again you leave us teetering on a knife edge of anticipation? Cruel. More, soon? Please?
3rd-Jul-2007 05:01 pm (UTC)
teetering on a knife edge of anticipation

i lead a... boring life. have to get my entertainment somewhere! hee.
3rd-Jul-2007 05:09 pm (UTC)
So glad that you choose to get your entertainment in writing those always wonderful stories. Thank you, awsome, the usual...
3rd-Jul-2007 05:17 pm (UTC)
choose to get your entertainment in writing

no, no, no--the entertainment is not so much in the writing; it's in the reaction to the writing! because i'm evil interested in providing a wonderful reading experience!! ;)
3rd-Jul-2007 05:28 pm (UTC)
After I’d taken the pills, though, I remembered what I’d known all along. And—since you’ll never see this letter—I’m going to be honest here. I couldn’t go through with it, because I couldn’t leave you. You’re a jerk, House—but you’re my best friend. And I worry about you. So, I figured, if I weren’t around to keep you in line, you’d do something really stupid, and it would be my fault. I couldn’t live with that, even if I were dead. Yeah—stupid joke; I know. So anyway, you saved my life last Tuesday.

*whimper*

I demand more, now.... please???? Another great scene in this series. *cuddles Wilson* and *slaps House for not visiting*.
3rd-Jul-2007 06:26 pm (UTC)
*slaps House for not visiting*

you're bringing out my overprotective-of-tragically-misunderstood-house streak again.... ;)
(Deleted comment)
3rd-Jul-2007 05:40 pm (UTC)
Thank goodness everybody else went to lunch so nobody sees me crying. It was the french fry that got me.

3rd-Jul-2007 06:53 pm (UTC)
It was the french fry that got me.

then... uhh... let me warn you ahead of time that you may cry tomorrow as well.....
3rd-Jul-2007 05:57 pm (UTC)
Oh, poor boys. Oh. Oh. More, more!
3rd-Jul-2007 06:56 pm (UTC)
poor boys

yes--they're both hurting, not just wilson! have you read nightdog_barks' amazing companion piece yet?
3rd-Jul-2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
Another cliffhanger! I do enjoy these cliffhangers, though - anticipation is nice. ::anticipates:: XD
3rd-Jul-2007 06:58 pm (UTC)
anticipates:: XD

oh, i think you'll like tomorrow's vignette!
3rd-Jul-2007 06:42 pm (UTC)
Here's my answer to Wilson: And maybe suicide will help.

*Shakes her head and sighs* I love these two very much, but Wilson naivety when it comes to how House is going to react to things drives me nuts. Doesn't the man realize that House will not stop feeling like crap no matter what Wilson says? I have a feeling House does not let go of things easily. (reference to von Lieberman proves it) Honestly I think House would rather have paid then Wilson any day. Wilson needs to get over hero complex.

Anyhow great chapter. I loved it, even if I wanted to strangle both House at the beginning and Wilson at the end. Do you think that would knock some sense into them?

By the way, I don't see you operating on the premise that you're bonkers. If you are, then I'm truly insane.
3rd-Jul-2007 07:15 pm (UTC)
Doesn't the man realize that House will not stop feeling like crap no matter what Wilson says?

there's one person out there who knows how badly i want to rebut this statement... and it wouuld be so much fun, too. but i'll try to pretend i'm a grown-up, and keep my little secret to myself.... ;)
(Deleted comment)
3rd-Jul-2007 08:12 pm (UTC)
This is just a note to let you know I am still following and enjoying your series.
3rd-Jul-2007 08:20 pm (UTC)
I am still following and enjoying

thank you! there are going to be eight more vignettes, if all goes according to outline.
3rd-Jul-2007 09:19 pm (UTC)
These are just exquisitely beautiful. I love how both House and Wilson echo the other so well. Heart wrenching. Truly heart wrenching. Following this avidly now.
3rd-Jul-2007 09:42 pm (UTC)
Following this avidly now.

somehow, reading your comment reminded me that when i began this series, it was meant as a one-shot. simply wanted to see if i could pull off an o. henry-type twist (gift of the magi was the first story that stuck with me from the time i first read it).

but then, i discovered that the dark aspect of this 'plot' was luring me in. and then i began to feel guilty for the situation i'd put them both in, and felt compelled to keep writing 'til i'd fixed it. so. here we are! and i'm surprised, and deeply pleased, that so many have decided to come along on this wholly unexpected journey--thank you.
3rd-Jul-2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
NO!Cliffhanger. That is just mean and wrong. But I love this series!! Great job. :D
3rd-Jul-2007 11:29 pm (UTC)
mean and wrong

however did you figure out my middle name??? ;)
3rd-Jul-2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
Oooh can't wait to see what letter Wilson ends up writing and sending!
3rd-Jul-2007 11:37 pm (UTC)
and you have only about fourteen more hours to wait!! :)
4th-Jul-2007 03:24 am (UTC)
I really love the way you're doing Wilson in prison. In his real life, it doesn't seem like he's particularly introspective, but here he's trapped into it.

This whole series is just so cool. I'm glad you're writing it!
4th-Jul-2007 11:35 am (UTC)
it doesn't seem like he's particularly introspective

seriously? i've always thought of him as the most introspective of the bunch! all those thoughtful, compassionate 'significant looks' (half of which seem to be useless; i'm thinkin' 'human error' here) have always made me believe that he thinks more than he ever says. hmmm... interesting!
4th-Jul-2007 05:29 am (UTC)
Yes, write to him. Okay? XD

Poor Wilson.

I don’t ever miss you because you’re always here, that’s all. Any time I need to, I just close my eyes.

Aw....
4th-Jul-2007 11:38 am (UTC)
Yes, write to him. Okay?

house doesn't strike me as the writing type. or the phoning type. or the visiting type. i'm seein' a pattern here..... poor wilson.
4th-Jul-2007 12:37 pm (UTC)
I'm almost sobbing - again.
I don’t ever miss you because you’re always here, that’s all. I can't even describe how I felt when I read this.

And this time I want to shout at Wilson: Send the damn letter!!!

I can't wait till tomorrow!! :-)
4th-Jul-2007 12:58 pm (UTC)
I can't wait till tomorrow

and you needn't, as i'm preparing the next posting at this very moment! :)
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